Chaotic Destiny

"So how do you like New York?"

I look forward to the day I'm no longer considered a recent transplant and people stop asking me this question. Though I know well intentioned, and I'm sure in a year I will be asking new blood the same, it's question often asked just to be polite and perhaps bring back remembrance of their first days in the city. A simple inquiry, with the person generally just wanting a simple answer. Of which none exists.

I feel as if I've been riding the bipolar express since arriving almost 2 months ago. Up and down, up and down. Highest highs and lowest lows. Nauseous and slightly motion sick I navigate my way through the city. Luckily the lows don't last long. If I can just make it through the storm, the next day I'll be back on top of the world. Being incredibly grateful for the opportunities that keep presenting themselves.

But who wants to hear all that? New York is full of clichés, as is most the world. And it is often hard not to fall back upon them, as they are easily accessed and often true especially at a surface glance. So that is often upon which I rely.

How do I like New York?

The quick response:

Well, it's very fast paced.
And large.

The real story. For the people of the city, they have definite destinations in mind. For me life has been moving very slowly.

What I have done:

-a few catering jobs here and there- though lost my one consistent catering job by "calling in sick" with plenty of notice, trying to be responsible in my deceit, because I got a better paying job offer (hey I gotta pay rent). For being an actor I'm terrible liar

-a couple auditions- Wicked, Hair, Awesome 80's Prom

-toured a show through some high schools -an awful musical revue about driving while intoxicated, that was written in 1983, won a couple Emmy's, and was revived, though definitely not revised- ie. "Drunk Driving - Total Bummer", briefly so the theater company could keep their educational grants

-Got hired on to teach acting to elementary school kids by a woman who loved me upon meeting me- but then basically fired me for double booking myself and having to cancel at the last minute with apparently a bad attitude (?)- lesson learned: if a person seems quick to love you, they can be just as quick to turn their affection around...

All of which may seem like a lot for less than two months, but to me it seems most my days have consisted solely of sitting at my computer constructing resumes and going to the gym.

The speed at which the city moves, I find- is not set by the pace of traffic and sneakers, but by the endless possibilities which the city provides. In a infinite chaotic universe, anything and everything that can occur- will occur, infinitely many times. Now, while New York is not a universe in itself- though many will argue differently- it is definitely much more infinite and chaotic then any other place I've been to in my travels. With millions of people, of lives, of lines, of neurons- intersecting chaotically and randomly -anything and everything is bound to happen. Including, but not limited to- the coincidence/serendipitous scenes which I have grown to love.

Fate vs. Chaotic Coincidence. Which is it that accounts for the fact that I called too late to get tickets for a show, and thus had a change of plans for the evening. That I left my house late, trekking through the falling snow, ran a block, and decided on a whim to enter onto the front of the subway train. And then two stops later a friend, of whom I haven't seen since high school, steps onto the train, we give each other odd looks and then enter into conversation. Random lives intersecting by chance or pulled together by the mystic forces of the city?

This is New York.

I'm sure it happens everywhere, but having just moved to NY the paths from one event to another are so much clearer. Similar to foot prints in fresh snow. It's easy to see how every action and leads to another. Again, is it chaos theory- butterfly flaping it's wings in Africa and Zachary ends up on Broadway making millions of dollars (Flap with all your might delicate butterfly! Flap Flap!!) or the dominoes of fate- tumbling down upon each other in intricate patterns predestined by fate or perhaps just every day cause and effect.

I make a decision to go out. A friend of a friend is met and made. A conversation had. Job opportunity presented. A new contact. And so on and so forth. The patterns and connections shine with a sliver chord connecting each and everything I do. I have trouble turning anything down, knowing that saying yes to this or that, even if it's just a coffee date, could have the great implications of changing my life. This blows my mind.


So how do I like New York?

"It's great. I love it here. So large and fast paced."